I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Everything about him screamed your future.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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