Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
