If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
