did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
