my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize