I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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