dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
There r osticjed everywhere
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
