I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
