oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
