he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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