I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
