entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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