I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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