so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
