I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
