so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
