I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
