you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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