i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I need moral support for this bender
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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