she was so not down for the gang bang
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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