porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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