nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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