Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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