stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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