How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
