Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
