...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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