Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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