Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize