Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
