So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize