If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
