last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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