I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
