you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
