Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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