I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
