Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
