Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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