why didn't you poke me back
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
