Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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