that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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