just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
