I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
