the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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