after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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