Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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