i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
