Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
