Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize