pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Even my vagina gasped.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
