ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
