I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
