some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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