very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
