How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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