I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
