when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
